Rosh Hashanah Revisited

Sitting in shul
doling out toys
and snacks
and hugs

siddur in hand
child up and down
first in the stroller, then a chair
then on my lap

soon its time to stand
when the shofar sounds
hands wrapped around
a little boy so sweet
siddur out of reach

Eyes closed tight
the shofar blasts envelope me
they shake me to my core
and i offer up a silent prayer

Please Hashem no more pain this year
no more suffering and anguished cries
leave no one empty, broken, or bereft
no health scares or violence or theft

leave me no questions
no confusion or doubts
only answers and  certainty
that you alone have sovereignty

help me always be aware
that You are always here
that You'll always be a listening ear
every time I shed a tear.

grant me my dreams, make them  good for me
Give me clarity to feel your guidance at every moment
to know and see and understand
how all events are in your master plan

A Tale of a pair of pants

Yossi outgrew his shabbos clothes so in mid-june i bought him 2 new pairs of shabbos pants. just 3 weeks later both pairs of pants disappeared when we spent the weekend out of town. We didnt realize they were missing until the following shabbos. we searched the house high and low. im usually very methodical and i was completely baffled. it took a whole week to figure out how/where we could have possibly lost them. our host searched as well and the pants did not turn up. its was a little upsetting because formal pants are quite pricey and i never loose things, ever.

After a bit of moping about, i offered up a prayer: Please hashem let this be a kaparah. keep the 2 pairs of pants and give me 2 of my deepest wishes instead. Keep the pants, better they be lost instead of anything worse. i gave up on finding the pants and prayed that i'd be able to see how it was for the best.

just this week the pants were found and they are on their way back to our house. it seemed a bit anticlimactic after all the soul searching and leaving it up to Hashem (when was i ever really in control?)

I may not have gotten what i wished for but i definitely gained something. Ive gone through this process time and again, you think i'd have learned by now, but i still get  aggravated/upset when things dont go my way. This incident was a another reminder that everything big and small is in Hashem hands. its a reminder to focus on my faith. Most of all its a reminder to keep working on my character.

Indeed there is a reason for everything. The pants have done their job!