Homeward bound

I'm standing in the departure terminal at JFK with my suitcase.only one suitcase. I'm with a friend but no family members. That alone is unusual. Someone  I have never met, picks us out from the crowd. Also impressive. One by one more people join us , all adults of my age group, men and woman from all backrounds from across the USA. We're about to embark on an  adventure, a once in a lifetime trip, a pilgramge to our Homeland, our BIRTHRIGHT.

I love meeting new people and  we have a great group . Everyone is sweet and funny and were gonna have a great time together.

We had to be at the airport pretty early but the time was completely taken up by the various stages of checking in, before I knew it we were up in the air and eating dinner at 2 a.m. I managed to sleep for a 5 hour stretch and felt pretty good. As morning came i walked about the plane stretching my legs, saying hi to group members spread throughout and meeting other passengers. There were newlyweds on their honeymoon, a group of USA army veterans, a guy with a long white beard who looked very much like my dad, and of course a minyan for mincha(shacharis?)

Because of the time difference, Tuesday was a short day, it was already dark when we landed. Things take longer in a group but everyone is already looking out for each other. Once everything was sorted we boarded a bus to the Golan heights.

We're staying in kibbutz ortal, in charming cabins. I'm rooming with an old friend and a new one. After 24+ of travel I'm happy to have a hot shower and a comfy bed. Alas a few hours later I was disturb by loud noise. Now I'm wide awake for at least as long as I had been asleep, and we are getting up in just a few hours. I'll be pretty tired tomorrow but I Don't care, IM IN ISRAEL!!!

blogs and bar mitzvahs

When Yossi entered first grade i felt a distinct change. it was a big transition, my baby was now a school aged kid, i was moving on to a new stage in my life.  now as  yossi begins middle school, things are changing again. Im starting to feel my age a little as we move forward into the bar mitzvah circuit.  while yossi's big day is still 2 years away (and many of his friends are his age or younger) , some of his cousins and friends  are slightly older, and so the bar/bas mitzvah celebrations have begun.

This past weekend we traveled to long island for  the bar mitzvah of Jason, the first child of Dov's college roommate. it was really special to see Dov back  with his group of friends  from years gone by. never underestimate the value of friends. they're all amazing people and we're both so fortunate to have kept up ties with them. Thank you G-d for social media, although we must continue to make an effort outside of that as well.

After the gaping hole left by the passing of 3 family members this summer,this weekend really struck a cord with me. it reminded me how precious life is, and how fast these long awaited moments pass. and how important it is to gather for each simcha, instead of waiting for sad events to bring us together.

During the celebration i was catching up with one of Dov's friends who told me that she follows my blog and asked me how we are doing.. it was really nice to get personal feedback, and it also gave me a boost of inspiration to get back into writing. It's been a very hectic 6 months, so blogging fell to the wayside, but I'll be back?

moving on

When the month of elul approaches there is always an air of expectancy. 3 summers ago, i felt that feeling and a little extra, the feeling of big changes ahead. I davened hard that summer asking hashem to make that feeling a reality. I asked hashem to give my life some direction, and to grant me at least 2 of my 3 big wishes that ive been davening for,for quite some time.

Hashem heard my prayers and shortly after the start of the new year my  dearest longtime friend (since kindergarten) announced her engagement. On a high from that i waited for everything else to fall into place. It was a hard,hectic, and emotional year but hashem always comes through, even if its at the last second.

we've been looking at houses for the last 5 years but none of them were right for us.  for about a year we vamped up our search looking at everything that came on the market in our neighborhood and the surrounding areas.  it seemed like we were chasing the impossible. every house that we tried to buy seemed maddeningly out of reach. every lead we perused fell apart in our hands. at one point i started telling our friends that we would buy a house when Hashem drops one in our laps. Our landlord knew that we wanted very much to buy his house but when it came time to sell it was well out of our range, it made me upset knowing that it was in such poor condition it wasn't worth the money he asked for it. he didnt even consider our offer and in the end sold it for not too much more than we were willing to pay.

Staying in New York was the best option for getting Yossi the care that he needs so we started to research places all across the state, mainly  within the the City itself. the easiest thing would have been to stay where we were but we weren't having much success. our basic requirements were an eiruv and a shul so thats how we landed on staten island. at one point we had several prospects in both locations at once only for them all to fizzle out. the crazy market and our search that got nowhere made us very frustrated and left us feeling hopeless.

people told us we would never find what we were looking for, that it was unrealistic and we would have to settle but we didnt back down. spending so much money on a forever home that wont work for our growing yossi would have been a big waste.

Then came the day that i told dov that i was finished. he was free to see houses but i was done, i had no more energy to give.  dov continued on his own seeing several properties but not too much came of them. until one sunday our realtor called. " i previewed a house for you and when i walked in i heard angels singing, its perfect, this is the house for you, the owner will wait for you if you can get here soon"  an hour later we were in staten island seeing the house together.

The house was in great condition and was suitable beyond our wildest dreams. the house was so perfect, we could move in after just a fresh coat of paint. and it had just the right amount of closets and cabinets.  the layout was so sensible and the house was everything we had wanted for ourselves while still accommodating yossi's needs easily.

we looked at so many houses, tried to buy them, and come of with ways to make them work but this house just worked from the start. walking through each room i knew that this was our house. i was so shocked by the clarity of it that i could not hold back my exclamations of delight. i told the owner about yossi and how long we had been searching for a house that would work for him.

imagine my amazement 1 hour later that we had an accepted offer from the owner, before we even got back home! so began a whirlwind of paperwork and waiting with baited breath, for signatures on a contract and for the bank to approve our mortgage. the seller stalled a little and we finalized the sale just days before rosh hashanah. after juggling yomtov and repairs and packing we moved to staten island right after sukkos.

every single day, dov and i look at each other in wonder. to see how much stress we had during our search and how easily everything clicked together in the right time. we appreciate anew every day how this house fits our every need, how this neighborhood is wonderful and how we love our rabbi with his accessible shul and welcoming congregation. the lifestyle is calmer, the quality of life better, the people friendlier and thoughtful. plus we have a yard and parking. to be sure we miss our friends, but hotel zeichner is open for business and we are just a short ride away from the people we love.

now 1.5 years later we are becoming part of the  community more and more and we are working on a wheelchair platform stair lift so that our home will be entirely accessible to yossi.
in all my life i never imagined that life would lead me here, but it could not be more perfect. we always know that Hashem runs the show but im so grateful and inspired by such a beautiful happy reminder. when i think of how lost we were and how Hashem brought us everything we needed. now if only i can hold on to that feeling the next time things go wrong and remember that as desperate as we are at times, Hashem brings everything together in the end.

Spring

Is it really spring? its hard to tell.
the weather is so up and down
the temperature changes so many times a day

even the trees are confused
some are in full bloom
others, bare as in the dead of winter
like the scraggly tree outside my window
its branches thin and empty
nestled between two other trees full of life and vibrant colors

i do not remember those trees having any flowers last year
yet here they are so bright and fresh
a pretty  pink and white
every time i look out my window they have a calming effect
but i still wonder why they are here now and were not there before

there is something wonderful about the spring, when vegetation is renewing
life is turning up a notch the possibilities are blooming
and the flowers outside my window, can they mean something too?
that happy times are coming soon, im looking forward, how about you?

4 hours

Drop of yossi,Drop off friend
Stop to chat with another friend

2 errands and 2 different stores
Then circle back to find your son
Plug in tubie freshen up (yossi)

2 more errands then im back
To unplug yossi from tubie backapack

Then to lunch with a friend
Some quiet time,not rushed, G-d send

Then im back for round four
Plug in again and change some more

4 hours of running, im so hot
But each time i found a parking spot

Time filled until the last minute
Friendship love and sunshine in it

Tired and rejuvenated
Proud of myself that i made it

I got everything done
And even had a little fun

Im inspired again today
Seeing Small miracles at play