When Yossi came home from school today I saw clumps of hair falling out from his peyos.
My heart sank.
I had forgotten.
I had forgotten that he had some hair loss before.
I had forgotten that he is on CHEMO.
I had forgotten because we just thrown it into the feeding tube along with the rest of Yossi's daily medicines.
I'm fortunate that Yossi can have CHEMO at home instead of an infusion center.
I'm fortunate the medicine is working and I pray that the tumor keeps shrinking .
Once when Yossi was a baby we were out shopping with mom. as she piled a mountain of baby clothes on the counter the cashier asked if yossi was her first grandchild. Mom replied 'no and I love them all. 'that was mom, she loved to shop and even more than that she loved her family dearly. She treated each of her 10 grandchildren as if they were the only one. She loved each child's spouse like her own children.
I'm not wearing all black today. I chose an outfit with a streak of light color. I believe this represents mom. Like light, mom showed up brightly and consistently in our lives, without grandeur and fanfare.
Mom took a genuine interest in other people and showed up fully present all the time.
She showed for Paul, for family, for her friends, for her temple, and for many charitable organizations. She met every person where they were- yossi in the hospital and Miriam simcha and shneur zalman on the floor. Even when we protested that she was to old to get down on the floor with little kids, she'd say 'im fine' and proceed to play with much interest and enjoyment. My children looked forward to her visits, their highlight -a trip to the kosher store on the corner for cookies, because as mom put it 'life is always a little better with some ice cream or a cookie'
Mom, I hope we'll keep on making you proud. We'll miss you very much!!
L'iluy Nishmas Leeba bas Chaim Zalman
At a recent simcha there was a photo taken of me, with 2 children in my arms. Both are other people's children. I chuckled when I saw the photo. This one image sums up my family values. I was raised with an army of 'aunts' (my parents friends) who looked out for me. I'm incredibly blessed with a circle of friends who are 'aunts' to my children. And I'm proud and grateful to be the 'Aunt' in other people's lives.
Hope is hot cocoa on a cold night
Hope is giving your friend a ride
Hope is cleaning out your friend's fridge
Or having her kids for a playdate (or 2 or 3)
When your eyes are filled with tears and
Your body refuses to take another step
Hope is the friends that catch you,
The little things they do, even when they are struggling themselves.
