ask me after and i'll tell you what we've done
because our plans change that fast all the time
without a plan i'm lost, but having one,
doesnt mean i'll stick to it
sometimes i cant make up my mind
or another family member is conflicted.
then things happen beyond our control
its all HASHEM's work
i plan to the last detail, but really im just along for the ride
we have to work hard if we want something done
but i usually watch it unravel before my eyes
as Hashem puts together something much better
It always works out in the end.
Its just a matter of how calm or crazy
it will be on the way there
im fighting to slow down and stay calm
trying to enjoy each step of the process
If only i can remember when its hard,
the marvel that i feel each time things come together perfectly
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Boating Bliss
we went to the store and ended up on a lake. how you ask?
well.. Sunday we ran an errand in a nearby town then googled a local playground. there we found a sprinkler and a lake with boat rentals. amazingly there was no line, a far cry from the crowds in Brooklyn. so the 3 of us climbed into a boat and went pedaling around the lake . its so much fun to do something adult that our child can enjoy too. its so much fun to watch yossi explore like its his first time (he's been before as a baby/toddler but there is a special joy in seeing your child old enough to understand what he is doing and remember it)
we came home at the end of the day tired and satisfied. i was struck by how normal the day was.. for one day, for a few hours we were just a regular family enjoying a typical weekend together.
well.. Sunday we ran an errand in a nearby town then googled a local playground. there we found a sprinkler and a lake with boat rentals. amazingly there was no line, a far cry from the crowds in Brooklyn. so the 3 of us climbed into a boat and went pedaling around the lake . its so much fun to do something adult that our child can enjoy too. its so much fun to watch yossi explore like its his first time (he's been before as a baby/toddler but there is a special joy in seeing your child old enough to understand what he is doing and remember it)
we came home at the end of the day tired and satisfied. i was struck by how normal the day was.. for one day, for a few hours we were just a regular family enjoying a typical weekend together.
Saturday, August 19, 2017
A Prayer answered
a problem shared is a problem halved. on friday i reached out on facebook for prayers and support, just putting it out there took a weight off my chest. i was able to relax and put my worries away for shabbos.
this week has been a whirlwind of activity. the house is buzzing with people of all ages- friends from out of town who i seldom see are staying over. its hectic but i feel so alive, surrounded by my dearest friends and biggest supporters.
i took a trip with one of them to the ohel, it was brief and i was distracted because i had yossi with me but i knew that i had come to the right address.
while juggling this week's regular schedule on top of appointments and everything else, i somehow managed to daven each morning, mostly because yossi was still asleep.
a new initiative that ive started with a friend is a gratefulness challenge (we adapted the idea from an article online). im exchanging daily texts with one friend, listing the things im grateful for
all of these things are small little things that add up eventually. when you do these things, over time your outlook changes. all these things add up to just a few minutes in my day but im uplifted and i have more energy and more will to get things done. im also more cognizant of Hashem's guiding hand in my life.
today in the midst of a full, high pressured day our entire plans for the coming days got a big shake up. normally such a change would put me in a tizzy but im not upset one bit. i cant help but feel lighter, more free. im just marveling at how much sense it makes, the potential, the possibilities.i would have never gone in this direction, had Hashem not caused it. but HIS plan is SO much better . its a wonderful feeling to recognize the divine providence, in something so small and mundane.I know Hashem is always listening but today i see my prayers answered.
this week has been a whirlwind of activity. the house is buzzing with people of all ages- friends from out of town who i seldom see are staying over. its hectic but i feel so alive, surrounded by my dearest friends and biggest supporters.
i took a trip with one of them to the ohel, it was brief and i was distracted because i had yossi with me but i knew that i had come to the right address.
while juggling this week's regular schedule on top of appointments and everything else, i somehow managed to daven each morning, mostly because yossi was still asleep.
a new initiative that ive started with a friend is a gratefulness challenge (we adapted the idea from an article online). im exchanging daily texts with one friend, listing the things im grateful for
all of these things are small little things that add up eventually. when you do these things, over time your outlook changes. all these things add up to just a few minutes in my day but im uplifted and i have more energy and more will to get things done. im also more cognizant of Hashem's guiding hand in my life.
today in the midst of a full, high pressured day our entire plans for the coming days got a big shake up. normally such a change would put me in a tizzy but im not upset one bit. i cant help but feel lighter, more free. im just marveling at how much sense it makes, the potential, the possibilities.i would have never gone in this direction, had Hashem not caused it. but HIS plan is SO much better . its a wonderful feeling to recognize the divine providence, in something so small and mundane.I know Hashem is always listening but today i see my prayers answered.
Friday, August 11, 2017
A Prayer
im reading my email and ready to scream,
Another set back in this long drawn out process
The angry mama bear is starting to rise up in me
What have i not done, what would i not give
To get this sorted
My defenses are up and im ready for battle
i take a deep breath and let it out slowly
im left with deep sadness
I offer up a prayer to G-d
I turn to my friends to carry that plea
Because i cannot do it alone
Carry my prayers heavenward
My hopes and dreams for tomorrow
So that we'll have what we need
For the people we were created to be
For the people we were created to care for
And for the people we hope to become
Im still staring into the unknown
My queries Not yet answered
I know not how and when
But im at peace because Hashem's got it covered
Another set back in this long drawn out process
The angry mama bear is starting to rise up in me
What have i not done, what would i not give
To get this sorted
My defenses are up and im ready for battle
i take a deep breath and let it out slowly
im left with deep sadness
I offer up a prayer to G-d
I turn to my friends to carry that plea
Because i cannot do it alone
Carry my prayers heavenward
My hopes and dreams for tomorrow
So that we'll have what we need
For the people we were created to be
For the people we were created to care for
And for the people we hope to become
Im still staring into the unknown
My queries Not yet answered
I know not how and when
But im at peace because Hashem's got it covered
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Camp Gan Yisroel
There are countless Gan Yisroel camps all over the world, all inspired by Gan Yisroel Parksville, the brain-child of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, all run by His emissaries and therefore infused with his energy, power and blessings. As a child i attended them, as a teenager i worked in them, and now that my child is of age, he gets to be a Gan Yisroel camper too.
Being that yossi is a special needs child i never thought it possible, but thanks to the K2BK (kool to be kind) pilot program, Yossi is now a virtual camper at Camp Gan Yisroel of Martin/S. Lucie County Florida and we are seeing the Rebbe;s blessings first hand.
After a wonderful time last year, receiving videos and projects from the campers, Yossi started off the season by donning his camp t-shirt and joining a spirited line-up on the first day of camp via video chat. yossi has been having trouble verbalizing lately (side effect of one of his meds) so he just watched smiling from ear to ear. however the minute we hung up he clearly asked 'more more' so we were compelled to call right back and the phone was passed around among the campers much to his delight.
i never knew that speech therapy was included but you can never underestimate the power of jewish children and the power of a rebbe! yossi gets so excited every time we say 'camp gan izzy' and we cant to see what else this season has in store!
From Florida with Love
Our annual trip to Florida as become a ritual of sorts. we visit with relatives during the week and then go for shabbos to visit a bunch of friends all concentrated in one area. i really look forward to this trip its a chance to recharge and maintain connections with the people we love.
I like my friend's shul too. the rabbi is very welcoming and there is a great mix of lovely friendly people in attendance. on our most recent trip, a gentleman i dont know approached us at the kiddush. as he started to ask about yossi's age and condition i was expecting to be bombarded with tons of nosy questions and unsolicited medical advice.
i was completely floored when he said the following:
'i see that yossi really likes the electronic toy he is playing with . our child has alot of these types of toys and with the recent birth of our second child, our friends gave us even more. we have so many and we dont need them- can we ship you a box for yossi to enjoy?'
to say i was caught off guard is an understatement. the offer was unexpected, humbling, and encourgaing. how very wonderful and thoughtful this man is. his children are very fortunate to have such a perceptive parent and with any luck they will grow up to be as kind and selfless as he.
this week the promised box came in the mail along with a gift card to purchase more items. yossi was excited about everything in the box and has already picked out his favorite. and as for me, im overcome with emotion, watching yossi play and feeling the love all the way from florida.
Saturday, April 29, 2017
ER Adventure
Well i knew we would end up in the hospital again at some point. We had a nice 2 year hiatus but life happens and we just roll with it. I Thank G-d from the bottom of my heart that it was NOT seizure related which is new for us and reassuring in a very weird way.
We sat down late and Yossi choked on his first bite of dinner- a cucumber- leaving his air way partially compromised. Thank G-d he was able to breathe the entire time and he didnt change color but he was clearly in distress. his body slackened, his head down and drool and mucus pouring out of his nose and mouth.
A call to Hatzalah brought an ambulance and several volunteers one of whom remembered us (and we remembered them) from the local hatzalah fundraiser in september. At that event we had made a point of introducing Yossi to local members in a non emergency setting. im glad we did because in the time of emergency it was calming to have help from some who was slightly familiar with us already.
As divine providence would have it a pediatric ER doctor was visiting his sister that lives on our block. he saw the hatzalah members and followed them up the stairs to assist. he called ahead to his colleague to advise him of our arrival. i had never seen him before and i dont know his sister but we were grateful for his help.
En-route to the hospital the cucumber became dislodged from Yossi's throat and i was able to fish it out of his mouth. with his airway cleared he began to relax and feel better waving his hands as he normally does. by the time we arrived in the ER yossi was sitting up on the stretcher and rocking it to and fro.
We were in the ER for a couple of hours just to do a chest xray and monitor his vitals to make sure everything went back to normal. the hatzalah members were quite happy to have a printed sheet with yossi's information cuz it meant they could go home first and write the report later. the hospital nurse was also happy- having everything already written was much quicker and easier for her. it also simplified my life- i was able to focus on yossi instead of having to remember details about medications and medical history while i was frazzled and pre-occupied. hurray for printed lists!!
Even at its fastest an ER visit still takes a couple of hours (plus the drive to the hospital and the time leading up to that) so my planned night out went down the drain. i was so bummed to miss our shul's challah bake. i dont often get out to events and shiurim and i was looking forward to a nice evening. well i got an evening out- a little more than i bargained for.
My friend was visiting for Shabbos that week and decided to take over my kitchen and whip up a batch of Challah dough. she asked me if i would like to make the bracha. that was very sweet of her and kind of made up for missing the shul program. ( im so lucky to have such amazing and thoughtful friends)
Fortunately choking is a rare occurrence for yossi. (only choked once before at age 2 when he swallowed a triangular kippah clip) we normally cut his food into small bites and he has no problem. it just happened that he accidentally got a large piece of cucumber on this night. We're thankful for hatzlah and the great hospital staff and we're all relieved to be home and healthy and moving on to more happy (hopefully) adventures!
We sat down late and Yossi choked on his first bite of dinner- a cucumber- leaving his air way partially compromised. Thank G-d he was able to breathe the entire time and he didnt change color but he was clearly in distress. his body slackened, his head down and drool and mucus pouring out of his nose and mouth.
A call to Hatzalah brought an ambulance and several volunteers one of whom remembered us (and we remembered them) from the local hatzalah fundraiser in september. At that event we had made a point of introducing Yossi to local members in a non emergency setting. im glad we did because in the time of emergency it was calming to have help from some who was slightly familiar with us already.
As divine providence would have it a pediatric ER doctor was visiting his sister that lives on our block. he saw the hatzalah members and followed them up the stairs to assist. he called ahead to his colleague to advise him of our arrival. i had never seen him before and i dont know his sister but we were grateful for his help.
En-route to the hospital the cucumber became dislodged from Yossi's throat and i was able to fish it out of his mouth. with his airway cleared he began to relax and feel better waving his hands as he normally does. by the time we arrived in the ER yossi was sitting up on the stretcher and rocking it to and fro.
We were in the ER for a couple of hours just to do a chest xray and monitor his vitals to make sure everything went back to normal. the hatzalah members were quite happy to have a printed sheet with yossi's information cuz it meant they could go home first and write the report later. the hospital nurse was also happy- having everything already written was much quicker and easier for her. it also simplified my life- i was able to focus on yossi instead of having to remember details about medications and medical history while i was frazzled and pre-occupied. hurray for printed lists!!
Even at its fastest an ER visit still takes a couple of hours (plus the drive to the hospital and the time leading up to that) so my planned night out went down the drain. i was so bummed to miss our shul's challah bake. i dont often get out to events and shiurim and i was looking forward to a nice evening. well i got an evening out- a little more than i bargained for.
My friend was visiting for Shabbos that week and decided to take over my kitchen and whip up a batch of Challah dough. she asked me if i would like to make the bracha. that was very sweet of her and kind of made up for missing the shul program. ( im so lucky to have such amazing and thoughtful friends)
Fortunately choking is a rare occurrence for yossi. (only choked once before at age 2 when he swallowed a triangular kippah clip) we normally cut his food into small bites and he has no problem. it just happened that he accidentally got a large piece of cucumber on this night. We're thankful for hatzlah and the great hospital staff and we're all relieved to be home and healthy and moving on to more happy (hopefully) adventures!
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