Tanta Pesha

A few nights ago I was sitting on the floor reading books with Shneur Zalman and he brought over my wedding album. We flipped through the pages together until I came across a particular photo. I called across the room to Yossi "hey look it's Tanta pesha"! Immediately Yossi began to turn deliberately in several directions looking for her all around the room. Dov brought the album over to Yossi who became very excited while looking at the photograph.

In that moment I was filled with both wonder and pain. 

Pain that it's days away from her 15th yartzeit and moshiach isn't here yet. Pain that so much time has passed. Pain that I'm forgetting someone from whom I was inseparable.

 And Wonder. Wonder that Yossi remembers. Yossi remembers someone he last saw when he was two. He remembers someone from 15 years ago whose name we rarely mention, whose picture we seldom display. He remembers. He remembers the hours pesha held him and rocked him. When we were stressed and worried about his health she'd take him from our arms tell him softly to "come chill with your Tanta Pesha". Yossi has always seen beyond what the eye sees, so I should not be so surprised that he remembers and deep down I know that my neshama remembers too.

Walking

 One day at a time one step at a time- shneur zalman is walking! He took off a few days ago and hasn't stopped since. Seeing Yossi struggle with walking makes each of these steps that much sweeter. Each moment is precious to me, I can't get enough of it! I don't know what the future holds but seeing shneur zalman reach this milestone is reassuring, I know that everything is gonna be alright.

Saluting hatzalah

 I was walking home shabbos afternoon past my neighbor's house. He was just sitting down on his porch to enjoy some fresh air with his wife. Suddenly his hatzalah radio went off and in seconds he was in his car, medical bags in tow, running to help someone in distress. I stopped to talk to his wife and we observed the children of another neighbor walking together towards  home, their father having left shul to go on the same hatzalah call. 

Thank you to all the volunteers who give up their family time, their down time, their any time to run and help someone in distress. Thank you to the wives who hold down the fort. Thank you to the kids who miss their dads. Thank you to the humble and giving individuals who have shown up for us time and time again.

Baby steps

 We always look forward to grand milestones and events. Instead today I'm celebrating the small achievements.

Shneur zalman (10 months)  just figured out how to get onto his belly from a sitting position.

Miriam Simcha (4 yr) stopped her in the middle of yelling/grabbing and asked nicely to choose s vitamin herself.

Yossi (16 yr !?!?!)  Is doing high bridges ( lifting his bottom) to assist with changing/dressing. He used to be able to do that and much more but Yossi's gross motor ability had dropped considerably for a number of reasons. It's been a year and a half since he resumed working with Verne (his favorite person on earth, sorry grandma) and I'm beyond grateful to see the results.

Birthday Connections

 Of all the days in the calendar Chof hey cheshvan seems like such a random date. However I've now met 7 people who share my birthday! Through the years I've met them in many of the places that I've been: Baltimore, MD Sarasota, FL, Toronto, ON, Bournemouth, UK, Crown Heights, Staten Island, and now East Flatbush. I think it's just another sign of divine providence in my life, that I am exactly where I'm meant to be.

National Sons Day

You see three 

But there are four

Next to me, three

But there was one more

His mission finished much to fast

But his memory will aways last

Etched  within my heart

You never saw, 

You never knew

About this tiny little dude

Nestled in the palm of mother

A baby just like any other

Only a moment to feel my love

Watching now from up above 

The joy of all the things he's missed

After giving him that final kiss

L'iluy Nishmas Noach Ben Dov Ber Chiam

The secret ingredient

 I never did get on the coffee train but I still always love a hot drink. my go to is peppermint tea in the morning and hot cocoa in the evening. My favorite is whenever Dov makes a drink for me. His signature dish is hot cocoa, noone makes it quite like him. All our friends rave about it, desperate for a little oasis in a busy day.  They go to the store and pick up the same brand of instant mix but to their dismay they are unable replicate it. Its because they are missing the secret ingredient, sincere caring and thoughtfulness.