perspective

 I have a friend who has a bunch of children very close in age one after the other. Of course that comes along with its share of clutter and toys strewn about. When the kids were little it was like any other typical house, well lived in and impossible to keep tidy. I remember how we would complain to each other about our messes, until the day she came to my house. "you call this a mess? your house is so neat!" she said. I answered her that my physical house might look neat but my life and affairs were very disorganized. she was skeptical but I said "everyone's mess is different, and everyone's mess/peckel is hard for them." 

Fast forward to this week, this friend posted how relieved she was to hold and hug her healthy children after a worrisome 2.5 weeks of them being quarantined with covid. Someone of course had to point out that she should be grateful it was only 2.5 weeks as there are many people who for various reasons have not seen their children in many months or even years. For some reason this comment really irritated me and found me saying again '"every person's peckel is hard for them". Of course every parent cares about their children, and every minute feels like days, but we should not minimize what someone is going through by comparing it to someone else's circumstance. We are in galus, everyone has it hard and we need to empathize unconditionally and offer our support when someone is struggling.