Its Rosh Hashanah and I've come to daven for the first time, in my new shul in my new neighborhood. With a toddler on my hip and a growing belly I look like the ladies all around me, but I have a lump in my throat. I remember the feelings of despair, hoping year after year that I'd have a baby. I remember when it was difficult to go outside for it seemed that everyone around me was pregnant. Holding my healthy child, surrounded by the promise of new lives growing, the feelings still come back to me and they are real and raw like yesterday. Somewhere.. in this shul or in another, is a woman crying silently, hoping, praying for the new year to bring her the blessing of children. To that woman: I may look like everyone else but I see you, I feel your pain, and I pray that next year you'll have your own baby on your lap.
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