perspective

 I have a friend who has a bunch of children very close in age one after the other. Of course that comes along with its share of clutter and toys strewn about. When the kids were little it was like any other typical house, well lived in and impossible to keep tidy. I remember how we would complain to each other about our messes, until the day she came to my house. "you call this a mess? your house is so neat!" she said. I answered her that my physical house might look neat but my life and affairs were very disorganized. she was skeptical but I said "everyone's mess is different, and everyone's mess/peckel is hard for them." 

Fast forward to this week, this friend posted how relieved she was to hold and hug her healthy children after a worrisome 2.5 weeks of them being quarantined with covid. Someone of course had to point out that she should be grateful it was only 2.5 weeks as there are many people who for various reasons have not seen their children in many months or even years. For some reason this comment really irritated me and found me saying again '"every person's peckel is hard for them". Of course every parent cares about their children, and every minute feels like days, but we should not minimize what someone is going through by comparing it to someone else's circumstance. We are in galus, everyone has it hard and we need to empathize unconditionally and offer our support when someone is struggling.

6 months

People always say to cherish every moment when children are small because they grow up fast. It's true! Years of longing stretch forever. Then finally I'm holding my very own baby and suddenly she is six months old!

Today* is her half birthday and se is developing so much, it's hard to keep up. Miriam Simcha has a delightful smile and the most infectious laugh that I'm never tired of.. she loves to eat (got my genes so no surprise there) and she adores when Tatti sings to her, he can calm her cries in an instant. She's a ham for the camera like her grandpa and she loves to stick out her tongue exclusively for grandma..

Miriam Simcha recently got her first two teeth, she rolls from back to front and swims on the floor. She's continuing full speed ahead try to get on all fours, and trying to sit up.


*this was written in April when Miriam Simcha turned 6 months and posted later

And you should teach them to your children...

Today Miriam Simcha saw a garbage truck for the first time. We were enjoying the beautiful weather in our front yard, when the truck made its rounds down our street. The friendly driver smiled at Miriam Simcha (who wouldn't, she's so cute?) and beeped his horn many times for her. Miriam Simcha observed intently but kept a straight face as she usually does when encountering new people and new situations. She allowed me to take her hand and we waved to the driver and said thank you and I imitated the sound of the horn.

 Watching her, the thought struck me, that garbage trucks are just one of the many things that we take for granted. We know what they are, we always see them and they are so much part of our life that we don't think too much about them (unless we are stuck behind one.) But the knowledge has to start somewhere.. as little kids we most likely learned what it was just by seeing the garbage truck pass down our block over and over again.

 Today was a reminder that little children are like sponges, that Miriam Simcha is watching and learning from everything around her. Its a reminder that I cannot just be passive and let things seep into her mind. Instead I must take an active role in her life and use every experience as a teaching moment so that she will grown up to be kind, gracious, thoughtful and appreciative.

accidental bucket list

its three years since we moved to staten island and life has been busier than ever. still, we are all reaping the benefits of a calmer cleaner lifestyle, more space and fresher air. We enjoyed some new firsts with yossi this past summer before i broke my foot. It was amazing to watch him experience kayaking and go karts for the first time. I can't wait to see what new activities we'll try this year (if the corona virus would just go away!)

The firsts. Round two.

First smile, first bath, first cooes,
First tzedakah, first lulav first shabbos too

By far much better in any weather
Than first seizure and first fracture

Little girl is well traveled already,
First trip to shul, to the mall, to the airport,
And she's touring the boroughs she seen three already
But no visits to hospitals or specialists or surgeries

At two months yossi was below his birth weight, now Miriam Simcha is the same age and she's already moving to the next clothing size and doing more still. She's starting to find her fingers, to move around in her bed, to observe everything going on.

And I just keep watching her in awe. That she's here, that she's healthy, that she's mine.

Tomorrow

Whatever it is, whatever  it will be,
I'll carry on
I don't know what tomorrow will bring
But I'm hopeful that things will go my way.
Everything works out in the end, we know it always does, so I pray I'll see it clearly right away
Tomorrow we'll know which way
Tomorrow is the first day of a new chapter.

Homeward bound

I'm standing in the departure terminal at JFK with my suitcase.only one suitcase. I'm with a friend but no family members. That alone is unusual. Someone  I have never met, picks us out from the crowd. Also impressive. One by one more people join us , all adults of my age group, men and woman from all backrounds from across the USA. We're about to embark on an  adventure, a once in a lifetime trip, a pilgramge to our Homeland, our BIRTHRIGHT.

I love meeting new people and  we have a great group . Everyone is sweet and funny and were gonna have a great time together.

We had to be at the airport pretty early but the time was completely taken up by the various stages of checking in, before I knew it we were up in the air and eating dinner at 2 a.m. I managed to sleep for a 5 hour stretch and felt pretty good. As morning came i walked about the plane stretching my legs, saying hi to group members spread throughout and meeting other passengers. There were newlyweds on their honeymoon, a group of USA army veterans, a guy with a long white beard who looked very much like my dad, and of course a minyan for mincha(shacharis?)

Because of the time difference, Tuesday was a short day, it was already dark when we landed. Things take longer in a group but everyone is already looking out for each other. Once everything was sorted we boarded a bus to the Golan heights.

We're staying in kibbutz ortal, in charming cabins. I'm rooming with an old friend and a new one. After 24+ of travel I'm happy to have a hot shower and a comfy bed. Alas a few hours later I was disturb by loud noise. Now I'm wide awake for at least as long as I had been asleep, and we are getting up in just a few hours. I'll be pretty tired tomorrow but I Don't care, IM IN ISRAEL!!!